Dear my 12 year old self,
One day you’re going to look in the mirror and you’re not going to recognize yourself. You will see someone who is less linear and more angular, everything you used to despise but you’re now okay with it.
And you’ll be different on the inside too. You’re no longer that shy girl who’s afraid to raise her hand in class. You’re no longer that extremely polite girl who stays after class to push in every chair because she thinks it’s kind. You’re no longer that insecure girl with no self confidence whatsoever.
You become someone who’s (almost) not scared to speak her mind. Someone who (almost) accepts her body for what it is. Someone who (almost) loves herself.
And, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it’s going to hurt.
You’ll go through more hardship in these next four years than imaginable. You’ll lose yourself, be beyond stressed in school work, fade away from friends, but in the end, it’ll all be okay. I promise you that.
It’ll take time and work to get there, but eventually you’ll be okay. Eventually you’ll be able to say that you made it.
And, trust me, being 12, and 13, and 14 are tough years. It’s a weird age. Even now, at 16, you still get mistaken for being 12. You’re too young for most things, but too old for most other things. But in the next few years, you’ll learn so much.
You’re going to learn how to leave people and places that stress you out. You’ll figure out how to say no and how to get away from certain situations. And this will mean you have to say goodbye to some of the people you thought you’d be friends for life with, and although it’ll hurt like hell, it’ll be a lot less painful than staying.
You’ll learn that nobody is going to cause you more heartache than yourself. You’ll realize who you are and how to love yourself. And you’ll realize that where you’ve come from doesn’t affect where you’re going in life.
You’ll learn how to have control and manage your time. You’ll figure out that leaving a weeks worth of homework for the night before it’s due is never a good idea, the same as how binging on food now so you can’t eat it later is also a bad idea.
I know you’re a little lost right now, but don’t worry. You’ll find where you’re going.